inviting Poseidon for buffet lunch,
made dishes of snails, urchins and sea weeds,
pena-colada, served as the fruit punch,
.
the snacks blue and green giving a nice crunch,
on an umbrella boat he comes with reeds,
Poseidon’s invited for buffet lunch,
.
all the Nereids were hit with a hunch,
the menu they fetched and hastily read,
pena-colada, serving as fruit punch,
.
forks are missing from a newly brought bunch,
it can be dangerous, lethal, this deed,
inviting the sea lord for buffet lunch,
.
no worries, he could use trident to munch,
he is not violent-some like Aristide,
serve pina-colada, for the fruit punch,
.
let him consume it all and let him scrunch,
do not pray, do not make wishes of greed,
let Poseidon leave after buffet lunch,
pina-colada was served as fruit punch.
.
* For Mythology Workshop # 1, where individual prompts were given. I was to work on the following: Poseidon, umbrella, pina-colada and a missing fork. The setting is 21st century. I wrote a villanelle, with certain changes in refrains to better suit the flow of the poem. It is a confusing tale of inviting Poseidon for lunch.
Wow. I’m very impressed with what you made with all of that.
LikeLike
Thanks. Hope you are having a good day, Charles.
LikeLike
Busy, but that’s probably a good thing.
LikeLike
A fun read. The recurring final rhymes were smartly done and the whole premise has a zany brilliance that comes through in every line. Thanks for this.
LikeLike
Thank you.
LikeLike
very well done… the prompts were not easy…
LikeLike
Thanks.
LikeLike
Excellent!
LikeLike
Thank you. Mythology is always fun.
LikeLike
I loved, loved, LOVED the scenery that you created. While I was reading I could imagine everything so easily as a scene, a restaurant on the beach, waiters sweating and being anxious, hot weather and sea delicacies.
The vilanelle is one of the forms that personaly scare me most and pieces like this, which was even writen following guidelines by a pritty random,difficult prompt, are making me even more scared with their brilliance. I really liked the lines you chose to be the repetitive ones, they created a nice,roll-off-the-rongue rhytm which gives vilanelle that special magic. I also liked that you gave your own persona into it by tweaking stuff to fit into the form, because it tells me you are not afraid to make a poem completely and utterly yours.
What you did with the umbrella word is fantastic, you incorporated that word as a very original,I’d say never seen before, image – as a boat. I could also make a connection with this to the poem depicting Poseidon as a divinity – as an excentric entity that tends to do,wear and use what normal people would not. You have also included other mythological personas,which is a very nice touch, deepening the poem. The poem is also fun and very engagable. I am seriously simply amazed by this piece, I feel shy,proud and blessed at the same time for being in a way a part of this.
For the workshop part, I have basicly nothing to offer you,except:
-“do not pray, do not make wishes of greed,” – this line seemed to me as a bit out of the place, slightly out of tune with the language and emotion of the rest of the poem – it a bit raises the seriousnes and it feels to me as something unexpected and I am having trouble of connecting the word “greed” to the rest of the poem, but that might just be a cogwheel missing in my head. Wether you revise the piece or not and this line stays or not this poem –
is really just perfect. It is a gem and a true honor to mythology and art. I could easily imagine it being used in real life, as a writting somewhere and I BET there is sea restaurants out there that would love to showcase it or use it somehow in their restaurants 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback. And I thank you for providing us with such great prompts to work on.
I love reading myths and that certainly helped.
And yes, we are in the same frame of mind, regarding the “greed” verse. I was never confident about it. I know I will work further on this poem and particularly on that verse. It indeed deviates quite a bit from the actual pace and tone of the poem.
Thanks once again. I will be looking forward to reading yours as well. I gave you Osiris because in my eyes, he is the most intriguing Egyptian figure. Happy writing! 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, I am working on my piece as well and seeing you just jump into the boat and give me a prompt, get included, made me really happy. I really hope I seem like an engagable and fun person to write with (or torture back due to the impossible prompts!:D)
Me and Osiris are drinking tea at the moment, and I can tell you isis is not liking it one bit 😀
LikeLike
This is amazing I could have never pulled off your prompt! Very entertaining and the Villanelle is a great and challenging form
LikeLike
Thank you. I know you would have done great in case of this prompt as well. 🙂
LikeLike
I loved this. Beautifully done!
LikeLike
I got here via the 13th Floor’s participants page. 🙂
Wow. It’s great. I’m not the type of person that can really tackle poetry. It just doesn’t work with me, but you did a wonderful job!
LikeLike
Nicely done and so fun and visually entertaining!
LikeLike