It was a few years back…

It was a few years back

that people used to

call me an orator-

the one really eloquent

in conversation, the one

who can talk with any one

and today I find myself

at a path where

I find it difficult to

even talk to myself.

It was a few years back

when I was confident,

always striving to be a leader

and see today I find myself

cowering behind,

wanting some one else

to take the responsibility

while I just see it

from the back.

How time changes

and how much I have

changed,

how much my life

has changed me.

May be the future isn’t so bright for me…

May be the future isn’t so bright for me

May be I won’t always be free

But at least I won’t be as trapped as I am now

I know no one, not even I myself can make such a vow

But I got to have some faith in something

May be my decision won’t solve everything

But I got to believe, I got to have some hope

I need to stay clinging to some rope

May be the future isn’t so bright for me

But I can hope it is a far better tree

than the one upon which I sit today

Maybe I will find the lighting ray

One which will make it all fine for me

Even if I won’t always be free.

The Evil

The evil stands up when I stand

It sleeps beside me on the bed

It is there when I eat

And also when I try to read and write

I feel its presence-

A chill descends upon my body

And my soul craves to run there and then

But I am lost

I want that evil to stand up when I stand

To sleep beside me on the bed

Be there when I eat

Also when I read and write

I want its presence around me

Because that evil is no one but me.

That evil is no one but me

Me being responsible for my deeds

I hurt myself

I kick myself in the shins

That evil is no one but me

That evil is no one but me…

That evil is no one but me

I am the one who deals with me

 I am the one who is my worst enemy

I am responsible for everything 

Everything, everything, everything

That evil is no one but me…

I do not know

who I am

anymore

I struggle to see

myself within

me

I do not know

who I am

anymore

I can’t find

myself

anymore.