Life Moments

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many moments in life,

many incidents, events,

which have left a permanent mark on you:

.

like that summer when night was your day

and you would listen to a song a fifty times,

.

or that winter when you had steamy noodles

during the dead hour of midnight,

.

or that time when you visited the water park

and ate more than you were capable of ingesting

and then floated around in those shallow pools

and slide down again and again, splashing into water,

.

or that day when you were pestered for scoring less

in a class test, you had prepared so well for,

.

or that midnight when you got an unanticipated call

from some one to wish you on your birthday,

.

or the early morning you started preparing for an exam

you have to appear for just three hours later,

.

or that hard whack across your face you got

for a mistake you thought was never yours,

.

or those foggy days when sun would make an appearance

and you would run to bathe in those glorious rays,

.

or the junk food you had one day,

or your favorite candy which you were not allowed to eat much,

.

or your first attraction towards a girl,

or the day when you verbal-battled with your teacher,

.

or that recess time when teacher would force you

to consume what was packed for you in lunch,

.

or that moment long back when some one pushed you in school

and you got a swollen lip, which pained you for days,

.

or your first day in school when you made an example

of your clumsiness by falling down a platform,

.

or that conversation while playing chess of

what the future was going to be like for you,

.

many incidents, events

that have left a mark on you

but now they are gone:

.

you can’t listen to a song again and again anymore,

you don’t like eating noodles,

.

water-park is a distant place which

you can’t see yourself visiting again,

.

it doesn’t matter to you if anyone shouts at you

or even if some one blames you just for the fun of it,

.

you receive no call from anyone, cell-phone is a toy,

you have forgotten everything about that exam,

.

you won’t bear anyone touching you in any way

and if it happens, you end up enraged and finally dripping in tears,

.

you burn yourself in the sun, sit facing it for hours,

.

junk food is not meant for you,

you eat candies but there is no limit to it,

.

you are so preoccupied with yourself that

you have forgotten how it is like to have a crush,

.

you are waging a war with every person in vicinity,

you have no fixed meal plan and you eat whenever you feel like,

.

you hurt yourself, you dwell in that pain,

you are fallen down already, no one giving a hand to pull you up,

.

you dream of future but you are hopeless about it as well;

.

many incidents, events

that never fail to leave a mark in your lives:

.

you are left with their memories,

trapped in a life you had lived

but are no longer capable of living,

.

those events, incidents, memories,

you see them again and again,

.

it hurts your eyes but you keep on doing so,

till you have rebuked yourself out of it;

.

many incidents, moments

that have left a permanent mark in your lives:

you are tired

and you go to sleep.

.

*A work of fiction, based on some real life events. Also adding the link to dVerse Form for All. Every stanza is within 140-characters constraint including punctuation and spaces(as far as I know).

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Suzushi (cool/coolness) Haiku

under blazing sun

lone sweltering traveler 

comes blowing cool breeze

.

feel of a cold breeze

sleeping under a fig tree

shaded from sunshine

.

cold water shower

after a day out in heat

a sound of relief

.

heavy clouds gather

after days of summer heat

cool drop falls on cheeks

.

playing small children

suzushi environment

change in the weather

* For Carpe Diem # 218

It was a few years back…

It was a few years back

that people used to

call me an orator-

the one really eloquent

in conversation, the one

who can talk with any one

and today I find myself

at a path where

I find it difficult to

even talk to myself.

It was a few years back

when I was confident,

always striving to be a leader

and see today I find myself

cowering behind,

wanting some one else

to take the responsibility

while I just see it

from the back.

How time changes

and how much I have

changed,

how much my life

has changed me.

Changing things in life!

Why do we want to change ourselves so very often? We sometimes want to change our lifestyle, and sometimes our entire life, a particular trait in us and sometimes even our whole persona. Why is it so- we are never satisfied with ourselves? Don’t tell me the thought of being yourself doesn’t suit you. But why then are we in the habit of these so-many changes we want?

The human nature is something beyond my imagination to understand and deal with. But one thing I can say is that this nature problem of aspiring to change is present in us all. Someone wants to get change their house into a bigger one, someone wants to change his/her life with that of a superstar, someone a little chubby wants to change herself/himself into the figure of a supermodel/athlete. Why so? Why can’t we be just satisfied with who we are? And moreover, we are just aspiring to change inflicting guilt and failure in ourselves when we aren’t able to do so because sometimes some things are impossible to change. And if you really want yourself to be the one you would want to be, don’t aspire to change, just change and do nothing else. Don’t try, don’t seek, don’t think but change if you are so desperate and can’t remain at all happy with the being i.e. you.

This seems odd coming from a person who wants to change so many things in his life. Take it as my experience with the help of which I am writing this stuff. These resolutions for making yourself changed won’t lead you anywhere but in a dark  well with no light but self-inflicted harm, the harm which you are causing to yourself and the harm which you can’t avoid because of you only.

Sometimes it bugs me seeing so many guys/girls becoming artificial with those mounds of make-up or those weird wild hairstyles or with fake masks worn by them, what would it bring? You’re not changed, you won’t change because these people have so evidently made perceptions of bringing about and achieving that change in their mind which can’t be erased by anyone. I would say if you want to change, just change in the way your life becomes a more favourable experience, don’t make resolutions, don’t aspire, don’t think but change if this change is very very important to you. This life is very short, don’t waste it by spending time in the dark well where I have spent so much of my precious time. Don’t do such mistakes, there is no easy way out. Change your perception towards change- because the aforesaid change would indeed make your life more brightened. Just change when you think change is going to bring something good and spiritual in your life but not something which you just want to change because of the worldly desires.

Don’t get confused. Just remember three things-

1. Try to accept yourself in the way you are.

 

2. If you really want changes, bring about a change which would make life a more favourable experience.

 

3. If the change is not such as being said in point 2, forget it. But if you still want to change, just change- don’t think, don’t aspire, don’t make resolutions, don’t go to that dark well but just change.