your love took all with it but this sweet pain,
you rendered your sleek spell in this neat pain.
the skies are split open by the heat’s rage,
i smouldered to the whims of this elite pain.
you dropped all pretense, spilled my discreet truths,
i am left bloodied by our defeat’s pain.
you are not my soul, not a complete stop,
i won’t be richer by your deceit’s pain.
all this loss made us change our concrete ways,
still i lost you to this obsolete pain.
do not go to find your past life’s street-mark —
Priceless, you’ll no more love your heartbeat’s pain.
.
© Anmol Arora
A half-hearted ghazal — linking it up with The Tuesday Platform at WRT
HA's Place 
Such disillusionment. I’ve missed your pain.
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The word pain keeps returning like physical pain does. Every time I read the word it was penetrating.
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❤️…. arz kiya hai:
“Woh jo hum main tum main qaraar tha tumhe yaad ho ke na yaad ho,
Wohi yaani waada nibaah ka, tumhe yaad ho ke na yaad ho.”
This is such a heartwrenchingly beautiful ghazal, Anmol! I can feel part ache, part longing.. and yet there is an unmistakable hint of courage .. to move on despite the pain. Especially like; “do not go to find your past life’s street-mark— Priceless, you’ll no more love your heartbeat’s pain.” 🙂
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You might call it “half-hearted” but I say it’s Ghazal-wonderful. Salute!
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You may call it “half-hearted”, but I say it’s Ghazal-wonderful. Salute!!
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I have lived the pain of this kind of betrayal, which repeats like the lines of your poem. Wonderfully done, Anmol. May the next heart be worthier of your gift of trust.
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Maybe half a heart is needed to produce a piece this beautiful and painful about a fully broken heart. Whichever bit of your heart your brought to it was plenty. A reader can’t help but feel the sharp edges of sadness.
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You may think of it as a half-hearted ghazal, Anmol, but if I wrote half the ghazal that you have, I’d be delighted. The varied repetition of sweet/neat/elite (and so on) pain hammers the pain home so persistently that by the time I’ve read the whole poem I’m wishing pain on someone, but I don’t know who that someone is! How dare they cause so much pain!
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This ghazal is wonderful… the pain left by betrayal goes so very deep, and a wonderful subject.
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Love the variation in the repetition Anmol. It hits hard, takes us into the labyrinth levels of the pain – but it hurts everytime. Excellent writing my friend!
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You wound the wound with every way the pain leaves a stain. A sweet, deliciously sharp pain. Do not squander it.
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I see what you did putting the “priceless” into the last line… 🙂
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‘you are not my soul, not a complete stop, i won’t be richer by your deceit’s pain’ ~~~ i have lived this, i believe this, thank you for writing this.
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Interesting!
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