the farsighted ocean calls me,
I shift my glance to take a whiff, of
new visions on the landscape
soaked with blood, of dreariness.
I am an effigy made of sand, touched
by the fingers of her sweet melodies.
her lips open up into the cavern
of the sky, dotted with planetary
orbits of my heart.
I can not see the ocean, it is away
in the gloom of the void, but I watch
her flippant dance as she clutches
her dress buttoned up for modesty
unlocking charms of my dead eye.
Inspired from Bjorn Rudberg’s poem, Nipping at the hard place. I loved the play of metaphors in his verse. It is a very artistic write.
Though, I couldn’t keep up with Bjorn’s natural flow, I still tried my hand at Catachresis, the literary device Bjorn used in his poem. I had to check what it meant and I read in detail about it here(shame on me for not knowing about it :D). And as soon as I read about it, I went on to write this piece.
14 thoughts on “her flippant dance”
This is a marvelous use of Catachresis… and you use it so subtle as it really is intended to be use.. I especially like the last stanza.. what a marvelous example in that last line.. I hope you link up as well 🙂
You did what I could not and so beautifully done!
Thanks for visiting.
You had me at the whiff of new visions. agreeing with Bjorn that your piece was more subtle, more thoughtfully done than some out there. The scope of the prompt, it seems, is more vast than originally supposed by me–so that is more kudos for Bjorn.
I liked very much your second stanza. That definitely is my favorite, but your whole poem is filled with very fine metaphor.
I love the “planetary orbits of my heart”. This is wonderfully written, an inspired piece.
nicely done, you wielded the tool well.
Very nice. My favorite line was “I shift my glance to take a whiff.” Peace, Linda
Expertly done HA. (I had to look up catachresis too.)
I like how you gently weaved the metaphors into this piece.
“unlocking charms of my dead eye”….lovely!
love the idea of taking a whiff of new visions 🙂
This is just beautiful.
I could live in this phrase alone for quite some time: “I am an effigy made of sand”
The dance is fantastic – “effigy made of sand” what a great visual
Magnificent poem Anmol
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I adore the orbit line Ha, but also the whole piece.
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