by tying me up good
when we pass the sirens’ lair,
awaken me by your clairvoyance
as night ends.
begins with smile on
her illumined face as she
drinks the sunshine to become a star
glares at me again
to warn of the deep silence
that has broken down glass mirrors of
she has left
a note of goodbye
which invites the noise inside
where my bones lay fragmented into
gloom sees me
and I see people
leading lives of dead humor,
they see me too when she uncloses
her dark eyes.
Written in consideration of dVerse where Mr. Tony Maude has prompted everyone to write modified cinquains, by adding one more syllable to every line.
22 thoughts on “humor me”
you’ve obviously enjoyed writing these. The first one is certainly attention-grabbing … smiles.
Thanks for joining in; I’m being shown that this form has real potential by the talented dVerse poets … smiles
A well executed cinquain Anmol..drinks the sunshine to become a star going away..love this line. Hope you are well.
With the illustration I’m pulled into the thought of a renaissance man breaking the barrier to another truth.. many great images here Anmol
Wow…you’ve a talent for these..love the ‘drinks to sunshine’ line as well.
Outstanding. This form likes you very much. I like that “drinks the sunshine” line as well. Excellent images and rhythm.
Ah, love these little plays, characters and cues seem changing with cosmic speed…breathtaking stanzas…humor me not…
oo…i esp like that third one with the laughing moon….the note and shattered bones one is quite evocative as well amnol…you did really well with the form…and the range of emotions throughout…
So, you really like this form…it suits you well, I especially love the first one.
Sad and a little dark. I like the fourth esp.
Talent separates value from dreams only if it is allowed to grow.
Wow, you ain’t afraid of any new form! Impressive use of Tony’s prompt, & perfectly suited balanced against the illustration you used. I, four, like the lines /as she/drinks the sunshine to become a star/going away/; excellent job, Anmol.
nice… you made a story out of the form… gentle, chilling, and sweet
You have come up with a nice set here. My favorite is the laughing moon. I like to look up into the sky and think of the moon as being delighted. I hope that breaking down the glass mirrors of deception is a good thing!
A form that suits your poetry, HA. My favorite is also the one about the dancing moon.
“uncloses”…I think that’s something that I love about poetry…the freedom to bend words to suit a need…and your word says so much more than merely saying “opens”.
sensitive and rich – these are very well done
And you just came up with them like that, off the cuff? Wow! Liked the Ulysses link in the first and the last one also spoke to me a lot, but there is a seriousness and yet playfulness about all of them.
There’s a gentle poignancy in this well-worded piece of poetry 🙂 Love the phrase “leading lives of dead humor” ❤
A lovely read. Thank you.
I love the idea of the sirens functioning in our daily lives and wonder who could tie us to the pole, who could relaese us, if we have not the discipline ourselves. Very fine poem!
You’re born to the form; a beautiful flow of well formed images.
So well written. Excellent.