Copyright – Janet Webb
The not-so-red, slightly pink frock was hovering in the air and it appeared as if an invisible girl was clad in it, hung there by the side-railing.
“Momma, see that pretty frock,” the girl walking along her mother by the street, pointed towards this piece of cloth.
“It is pretty.”
“I want it,” her eyes glinted with hope.
“I’ll ask dada to get one for you.”
“But I want this one,” she tugged at her mother’s arm, restraining to move any further.
“Don’t whine.”
“But…”
She was pulled up in the arms and taken away, her eyes adorned with tears.
Note:-
This is written in consideration of the Friday Fictioneers writing prompt.
HA's Place 
I wonder how many girls young and old glanced at the dress wanting it as their own?
great back drop and perfect emotions expressed by the little girl
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Thank you for the kind remarks.. 🙂
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This seems very realistic–the little girl wanting not a dress like that one but THAT one!! I love the word “frock”, so I’m glad you used it rather than “dress” and it gives your piece a more exotic air.
One thing that struck me was this phrase: “as if it was clad by an invisible girl”. The girl would be clad with the frock not the other way ’round. Maybe “as if it were worn by an invisible girl” or “as if it adorned an invisible girl” or….
janet
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Oh yes I never noticed it. Thank you for pointing that out to me. i will work on it.
And thanks for the kind remarks. 🙂
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Thos little girls … never do they get what they want.
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Hmm..
Thank you for reading.
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That’s kids for you, always wanting what they can’t have. Actually adults too…
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Right…
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i am sure in times where the money was not as free there was much longing for things people saw they craved. I think these days with the economic model geared to provide for so many this situation is more rare.
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Hello,
Thank you for reading and for putting forth your opinion. Indeed I completely agree with you.
But this is just a fictional story.. it has nothing to do with the real world and the real economic condition.
If (I write ‘if’) I put aside the fiction factor, this situation may (or even must have taken) take place in real life as well because the benefits of economic growth haven’t been harbored by everyone.
Moreover, the motive for me to write this story was to create an image of a whining child, not a poor child.
Love and regards,
HA
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This is one of the things I see with the 100 word form. Writer’s work hard to provide a rich story, but many times we do not see all the ways the story can flow and pull in so many ideas. You did a great job with this.
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Thank you for your kind feedback sir. 🙂
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Dear Anxious,
Some intriguing things going on, but I’m not sure exactly what they are. Was the little girl taken up by the invisible girl in the dress? Sorry for my confusion.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Hello Rochelle,
This isn’t a mysterious or horror story. That particular line refers to the fact that her mother pulled her up in her arms and took her away. And the image of invisible girl was created, just to frame a picture in readers’ mind of how the frock was hanging.
Thank you for asking.
Warm regards,
HA
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Time to learn not to let your wants hurt you. Good lesson.
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Thank you.
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I used to wish some of my mother’s dresses could be mine. Well written flash.
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Thank you!
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A salutary lesson. Poor little girl. “Eyes adorned with tears”! Interesting concept. Nicely written.
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Thank you for the kind remarks.
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