Fearless, strong, resilient,
the words that resonate from beings around me
wanting me to be the very same
but how can I tell them,
that I have broken down
beyond repair
I have chosen to be miserable
I am well beyond in that dark hole
where even some help, some pull from above
can’t bring me out
I am going to survive there, half dead
and even stop surviving one day just like that.
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How are you doing H.A.?? It’s been a long time…
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Yes its been a long time since I shared my inability to kill myself… I was just tired of it all, of writing down what I feel because then I would think about it and feel even more miserable.. I shut myself down, forgetting everything bad but it still used to come back to me, haunting me during the night and sometimes even in the middle of the day.. Distraction- that is what I adopted.. So I haven’t been alright, if the truth be said but I was okay, if some consideration is given to my distractions.
How are you doing, Beljoanne?
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I am extremely sorry about not being able to reply to any of your posts though i did get the notifications in my inbox… I always wanted to drop an email and inquire about your health and well being… I myself have been through a very very tough phase battling good and bad… lost my grandpa… another emotional phase…. but yeah… i did teach me loads of things… at times we wanna give up due to lack of love and that depressed feeling hovers around like crazy… it’s important to live life meaningfully and we need to have a never say die attitude and i am glad you have been so strong till now… i feel happy for u… stay strong and blessed…
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oh I am really sorry to know that.. I know that you know how emotions play with us.. I am still surviving, that must be something.. or am I kidding myself.. eh? I don’t know.
Anyhow, I hope that you stay strong and I am wishing all the best to you..
Love,
HA
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