I have been imagining…
I have been imagining a lot lately-
many futures that I could have
but not doing anything else
just imagining
while the future comes
becomes the present
and goes by, becoming the past
and I stay here
imagining many future futures
that I could have.
Yes, that is what I am doing and while doing so, I am torturing myself… but not doing anything else.. I am not understanding what I am doing.. Its just that this I am always thinking… imagining… its been 3 months… and I am not doing anything else… I am imagining, thinking.. also torturing myself.. doubting myself… making a decision and then conflicting myself.. my mind is going astray… I will better be dead, I know, in this condition I am dealing with.. I find myself in day after day. I am avoiding questions I ask from myself and when I am not able to avoid, I go mad.. I really go mad.
Posted on January 5, 2013, in Me and my thoughts!!, Poetry and tagged avoid, CONDITION, conflicting, could, day after day, dead, decision, depression, else, future, futures, going mad, have, IMAGINE, imagining, mental-health, mind, past, poem, poetry, present, questions, THINK, THINKING, thoughts, tortures, understanding, writing. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.
I can relate. I find myself thinking more than doing.
A brutally honest piece of writing this, thanks, and if it’s of any comfort to you I’ve been there and so have most other people too I imagine… Off to click on ‘Follow’ and see you soon..
Frip
Thank You so much for your kind words, Frip.